The Missing Commandments Series
Marshall Artist: Missing Commandments
Whilst doing extensive research for the new Marshall Artist Missing Commandments series, we discovered some world changing facts. Deep in a cave, written on a huge papyrus beer coaster, we found some commandments that didn’t make the top ten. Scholars can only assume that they were from a divine brainstorm / drinking session. Although they were not etched in stone, we believe they should still be
taken very seriously.
- Thou shalt not make false Billy Idols.
- Carrots are sacred.
- Thou must keep Black Sabbath holy.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s ox.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s ass.
- Thou shalt not make American Idols.
- Thou shalt not eat crabs (or anything else found
on genitals).
A beer ring count on the coaster shows that by this stage,
God had drunk over a thousand beers. We think it is important to keep this in mind when reading the following rejected commandments.
- Thou must shut up. What art thou looking at? Do
you know who I am? I am I am. You don’t know me. It’s not a dress. Shut up.
- Thou shalt not poke fun at the Lord’s appearance, especially his momo dress.
- Thou shalt not ask God for a ciggie. If you want to smoke, buyeth your own. Do I look like a ciggie machine? No! Ciggie machines don’t have beards.
Do they? DO they?!! Shut up…Oh..you want a light?
And God made light.
- Thou shalt not worship any gods but I (Jon Bon Jovi
is not a god).
- Do not covet thy neighbour’s wife, even if she’s just your type, and even if she winked at God when he
was getting the paper yesterday, and even if her husband is always away because he’s a door-to-door rock salesman, and even if…
We had to edit that last one as it went on for ten pages.
- Thou shalt not read thine commandments that did
not maketh the top ten, or thee be cast into hell.
While in hell, check out the Marshall Artist Missing Commandments series.
For further Pr & Marketing information please contact Tim
Tel: 020 7377 1002
marshallartist@subranded.com
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